Blog Week 20: Mergers and acquisitions.

Sunday 9 April 20.10

On Friday, Mockney was getting more miserable, Weirdo was getting more weird. At one point I thought about volunteering to do some archiving, just to escape the sadness/madness.

I got talking to Spock in the kitchen in the afternoon. It seems the American lawyers who visited the office a few weeks ago are coming back. Spock was acting a little bit tense. He did not say much - but I had the feeling something was on his mind.

Bill is away next week. So no doubt Pierre has something lined up for me ...

Monday 10 April 23.13

Did not have to wait too long before Pierre made an appearance. Turns out I am working for the "invading" lawyers this week. Pierre was kind enough - this time - to get Bill's permission first.

Found out Spock is leaving. For once I was not one of the last to know.

Spock told me the news himself. He needed the weekend to think things over. His new work takes him to Madrid. Lucky man!

The visiting US lawyers were not around much today. They arrived in the office mid-afternoon and then headed off to a meeting somewhere else. I am not sure what exactly they are here for - so top secret that no one has told me. But I understand it concerns Project Simpson. Strange name.

Tuesday 11 April 21.01

Found out why this deal is called Project Simpson.

Our client has been nicknamed Homer (as in Simpson, rather than the Greek poet). Bart and Lisa - two of Homer's subsidiaries - are going to merge with Maggie, a subsidiary of Marge. I love The Simpsons and this storyline sounds perverse.

Yet when one of the visiting lawyers actually took 5 seconds to explain to me what was going on I had to laugh. He immediately looked at me in a strange, tense way and asked if I was laughing at him. (Paranoid or what? Thankfully the lawyers in the Brussels office are far more relaxed).

I told him it made sense that this Project Simpson was taking place in Brussels as Flanders is next door!

He just looked back at me like I had mental problems and asked me to help prepare some documents. I thought my comment was quite funny.

Mercifully most of the activity in this deal is taking place in another office and I have not had to spend much time assisting these visiting lawyers. This particular group eye seem to eye me with suspicion. No idea why, after all I am very discreet!

Wednesday 12 April 21.31

I was more "on call" today than anything else as the corporate lawyers were in another office negotiating the deal.

They are supposed to be finished and out of here tomorrow. So I joyously await Pierre's appearance requesting I do some other mind-stimulating task: refiling the archive perhaps?

It appears the deal is not going so well: Homer and Marge are disagreeing over some issues. Will everything be agreed by tomorrow? I wish I could pretend to care. But as I have been kept - I guess understandably - at arms-length, I do not feel involved in what is going.

Looking forward to tonight's espisode of The Apprentice!

Thursday 13 April 20.05

Well Project Simpson turned into Project Nothing. Homer and Marge's disagreements continued and last night everything collapsed. So the visiting lawyers departed today.

No merger, no acquisition. Sounds like my love life!

Before leaving, the lawyer I told my Flanders joke to on Tuesday said he now understood what I was talking about. Apparently another lawyer had made a similar joke at one of the meetings. So my comic genius is recognised at last ...

Also no Pierre. He is away for Easter and things are really quiet around the office.

Mockney is feeling a bit better. He seems to think there is a chance that his last date may be showing some interest again. I have the feeling he has bombarded her with so many emails that she has the choice: go on another date or report Mockney to the the police as a stalker. Given the relaxed attitude of the police in Brussels, probably the former option is an easier way to get the message across about how she feels.

Poor Mockney: no merger or acquisition in prospect either.